Naughty or Nice is a Past Event
November 22, 2019
Does the modern story of Santa delivering gifts down chimneys teach us and our children to live in the past? Is our reality divided into just two paths – naughty or nice? Is the traditional Santa myth outdated and unhealthy for ourselves and our children?
Now that I am the matriarch of my family, I spend time contemplating our Christmas celebrations and my role as teacher. My thoughts are led to the upcoming holidays and to long held family traditions. Which traditions are good to impart to new generations and which should be retired, now outdated? Would Santa play a part in my family celebrations? By continuing the traditional Santa myth, what will I teach my children, grandchildren and great grandchildren about behavior?
Santa Claus certainly played a part in my childhood and my family's secular Christmas traditions. As a young girl, I looked forward to the gifts and goodies Santa would bring for me to find on Christmas morning. The last few weeks before Christmas every year, I remember working hard to ensure my place on the "Nice" list. I pretended to believe even after my older brothers let me in on the Santa secret. I didn't want to take the chance that my stocking might actually have a single piece of coal instead of being full of the small treats and toys I had come to expect on Christmas morning. After Christmas, however, I felt like I could let my "niceness" slide until a few weeks before the next Christmas season.
We are often told that we should live in the present and look to the future, leaving the past behind. However, what we are told is best is not always what we are shown in action. Being told that our past actions affects our worthiness with the Santa myth locks us in the idea that our past is who we are. If we made a poor decision in the past, whether or not we have learned from it or made amends, it affects our worth for the rest of our lives. These subtle messages can be some of the most damaging, especially in our young childhood when Santa is alive and watching and we haven't yet formed our beliefs in which magic is real and which is myth.
Looking back, I wonder how my attitude would have been different if I was offered a suggestion instead of a judgement. What if I were encouraged to be my best self in the upcoming year instead of being told I had to be "nice" if I wanted gifts? Would being encouraged to look to the future brought me more stability, self-love, or relief? What would it have been like to not fight to be seen as "nice" under the threat of unworthiness? There are so many grey areas in our experiences — impossible decisions, choices without moral ramifications, and other life events — between the black and white myth of "Naughty" and "Nice". No one is perfect and as children we are still learning what it means to be a person, a member of our community, and a citizen of the world. We make mistakes, but we shouldn’t be taught we are unworthy for them – we should be taught to learn from them and then to let them go.
What if, instead of being threatened with a piece of coal for what we had done in the past, we were given a beautiful crystal radiating energies of light and love for the coming year? What if we were given a special gift to remind us to be present, to always move forward, and that no matter what, we are worthy?
I think that the kids in my family will get stockings with a lump in the toe this year. It won't be a lump of black coal, a symbol of judgement and wrongness, however. It will be a shining crystal; a lump of love and hope and guidance for the years ahead.